Kiki by Fong Lye

This post has been a long time coming. But the good news is that I'm back! Hopefully, I won't pull another Harry Houdini again act but we'll never know, right? Anyway, onward to the food. 

Last year, me and my mates when we were still working at one of the Petronas Twin Towers, checked out the just opened Kiki by Fong Lye. Now, if it sounds familiar, you'll just have to poke your head at the 3rd (or is it 4th?) floor of The Gardens Mall and you'll see wave after wave of Chinese folk stuffing their faces with delectables from the island of Taiwan.


In all honesty, I dislike Taiwanese food. It's all show but no tell. It's all pretty with no substance. More pertinently, the flavours just plain bore me.


It was a sunny Friday afternoon that day and already there was a crowd. We managed to get a table and it just fit us. Comfortably? Not so but it wasn't that bad either. After deliberating what to eat, we ordered and waited.

Duck Noodles with (Salty as Heck) Soup

First up, was Harald's Duck Noodles with soup that reminded me of the sea. Yes, salty as all hell. Even the duck slices were not spared of the salty treatment. The only positive was Harald not finishing it all because if he had done so he would be popping anti-hysteria pills.

Jar Mien

Next was ST's Jar Mien. As you can see, it came with deep-fried tofu thingies, with a croquette that oozed cream of an unidentifiable nature and herbal chicken soup. Yet another salty extravaganza. We're on a roll, people.

Rice with Fried Chicken

Now, we come to Klutz's meal that had the same side dishes as ST but his main was rice and fried chicken. Did you say salty? Why, you're a genius!

Sweet-and-sour chicken with rice

Salty? If that was your first thought, I commend you...NOT. My meal, surprisingly, was not salty, just right. I could have done with more chicken but at least I didn't have to worry about any heart-related diseases. That would just wreck my muscles, indeed.

The herbal soup with a piece of chicken. Not a fan of herbal soups but this was not bad.

The rice came with some chicken and pickled ginger. Oh, how I hate pickled ginger.

The bill came to about RM100 plus taxes as each meal was about RM20 as it were a part of a set that included the aforementioned bits. Prices about RM15 to RM25 if I'm correct while drinks can reach RM10 for one of them dreaded beverages with them jelly balls. They are somewhat reasonable if you take into account the preparation and portion given. Will I go there again? Nope. This place further solidifies my disdain towards Taiwanese cuisine. 

I'm just glad my food didn't turn out crappy. 


Pros:

• My food didn't suck.

Cons:

• Salty.
• Salty.
• Salty.
• Decor and ambience were all right, nothing special. 

Stay tuned, stay hungry. 

Kiki

Lot 426-427, 4th Floor, Suria KLCC,
Kuala Lumpur City Centre,
50088 Kuala Lumpur.

The Bee - Redux

Happy New Year!

The muscled foodie is back. Well, he didn't go anywhere just found it difficult to find time to blog because he was busy trying to accomplish a new personal record on the deadlift.

He had success.

I adore the inside of The Bee.

Congratulations to the great one, indeed. Anyway, after achieving the aforementioned landmark, it was time to build the muscles he worked on. He and RM were having a tough time deciding where to eat but after turning into Jaya One, we settled upon The Bee and had burgers in mind. But it was not meant to be because the menu available at the time (we were there around 1131) only consisted breakfast items. Burgers and such were after 1600. We thought, what the heck, the last time we came here we had a blast so why not try something else. After all, we had a great time the first time we tried there.

I settled upon the Norwegian Smoked Salmon with poached egg and sourdough bread (it could've been rye bread but I forget) while RM ordered their Buttermilk Pancake with Banana.

The tomatoes were well grilled. Urm, yeah.

I enjoyed my meal. The smoked salmon was a teeny bitty too salty but that was what the bread was for, I guess. The best part of this was, of course, the breaking of the yolk.

Peek-a-boo.

Voila!

RM's meal was a bit of a disappointment. Whilst it had a pretty look, RM16 for two pieces of pancakes was a bit much. And half a friggin' banana? C'mon, guys, you know you can do better.

The brown thing is their maple butter, which, was cold and didn't melt. Sad, sad, sad.

We had cold water for drinks so there's nothing to write home about there. To be honest, it was a so-so affair this time at The Bee. My meal was definitely a winner, even then it is by default. The portion was decent but not filling enough whereas the pancakes could have and should have been better. For what it was worth, the flavours of the pancake was all right, nothing special, the caramalised bananas were good while the maple butter thingy was cold.

Come to The Bee for their dinner menu. You won't regret it. As for breakfast, well, I'll tell you when I find another place.

Pretty eerie, eh? Reminds me of Jurassic Park where a T-Rex is going to come smashing into the building and devour the two hapless souls there. What? You can't see?

Pros (For the morning fare):

• Great service as usual.
• If I remember correctly, they played some soothing music from one of those girls who are of the type singer-songwriter. It was not bad.
• Food is presented well.

Cons:

• Portions of both meals were awful. 
• The maple butter thingy mentioned above was cold. Not good if your pancakes are warm. 
• Breakfast menu consisted of rather pricey items. 

Stay tuned, stay hungry. 

The Bee

2A-G, Block K, Jaya One
No.72 Jalan Universiti, Section 13
46200 Petaling Jaya
Selangor Darul Ehsan  

Hokkaido Ichiba

The gates to Hokkaido. What did you think it was?

We had just finished watching the latest Harry Potter movie and it has to be said that Emma Watson can cast
Expelliarmus on me anytime. Anyway, the movie finished around mid-afternoon so it made the family and I famished as we had an early breakfast. As you you all know, you have to feed the muscle lest the muscle goes on a rampage and starts wrecking havoc on unsuspecting children.

Can you feel the Hokkaido-ness of this place?

RM and I have had meals here a few times already so we knew what to expect. It was already crowded by the time so we had to wait our turn while contemplating the food we were going to devour. While the wait took close to 20 minutes the ordering took 4. Fast? You bet your peace sign-lovin' Chinese girl we were fast. Being the musclehead bordering on the completely predictable, I ordered the failsafe and my perennial favourite, Katsu Don. The Muscle Foodie considers himself somewhat an expert on this dish as this would be his first choice in many a Japanese establishment.

I have high expectations.

Yes, that thing is terribly bright.

The decor of the place is undeniably Japanese. As can be seen from the not-so-pretty pictures, you get a sense you're in Japan albeit surrounded by Louis Vuitton-loving Chinese ladyfolk with a penchant for the hideous big brown bag of theirs. Music can be heard but the chatter of loud aunties and high-pitched Justin Bieber-like boys drown it so you're not missing much. If you get one of the cubicles, you'll be able to plonk your ass with 3 others pretty comfortably. Unless all of you are like miniature hippos.

One of my absolute Japanese meals looking pretty but its taste was anything but sterile. Kind of like local politics.

The food started arriving one by one and my order was first, naturally. It was a letdown. The overall taste can be summed up in one word: friggin' bland (punked you!). The chicken was bland and had more skin than flesh. The Muscle Foodie needs his flesh and he was not happy. RM's Unagi Don also suffered the same fate. And to be honest, I think we got obese eels because all I could taste was its fatty as heck skin.

Eeeeel-eeeew...

My sisters ordered the beef and chicken teppanyaki. Now, I like my beef medium-rare so when my sister launched at the waitress to have her very well-done I nearly dropped my shorts. All the cardio can do that to a person. Lo and behold, it came very well-done, the flesh no longer juicy but tyre-like. Thanks, sis, the rubber was quite a mouthful. The seasoning used was also on the insipid side and had no distinct flavour. The chicken teppanyaki fared slightly better but it also suffered from fleshless syndrome.

Tough as nails the beef was.

The funny thing is that the previous times that RM and I went there we've come out happy customers. We've tried the Japanese curry rice with beef and a noodle dish with seafood in it. Those two were fantastic meals, the beef and curry were exceptional whilst the noodles were cooked expertly.

Mediocre at best.

Besides the aforementioned dishes, we've had dessert and they were all right, just too sweet for my liking. We don't know why this time we had such below par food. So it's a bit of a surprise that I would pay another visit there. The combination of good service and the aforementioned fantastic meals have done just enough.

Ah, pretty plates that weighed 50lbs. Serious.

For truly great Hokkaido food, I think I'd rather wait for Isetan's Hokkaido food fair.

Pros:

• Prices are what you'd expect from such an establishment, just about right.
• Green tea is free-flowing which is a definite big plus. 
• Staff are prompt. Another big plus. 

Cons:

• RM and I have had mixed fortunes coming here. Sometimes the food has been wonderful, sometimes woeful. This time was very woeful.
• Queues can be very long. 
• Big eaters may disappointed with the portions. 

Note: Apparently, Hokkaido Ichiba is actually the ice-cream joint right next to it whereas the lunch we had was in Kita no Zen. 

Hokkaido Ichiba

T-201, 3rd Floor,

The Gardens,

Mid Valley City,

Lingkaran Syed Putra,

59200 Kuala Lumpur.

Tel: 012-612 1060 / 03-2283 3060

WHISK Espresso Bar + Bake Shop

A small group of us were heading to a friend's place for yet another round of mutton and curry for teatime, so we decided to meet up earlier for lunch at Subang Jaya's Empire Shopping Gallery. Now, the first complaint--which is completely unrelated to the topic--the toilets on the ground floor stink immensely. An unholy combination of urine and garbage creates a truly malodorous environment. Yucks. After having lunch at Pasta Zanmai (the review will come later) we thought to ourselves, what's a better way to wash down high-starch content food? why, with desserts, of course!

Narrow as narrow is.

Tucked away (yes, I am using tucked away again) in a small shoplot near the Jaya Grocer is the quaint but dusky WHISK Espresso Bar + Bake Shop. I'm not sure why the whisk is in capitals but let's assume they use it for whisking activities. Upon walking in, you'll realise how small the premises are and with my wide shoulders I nearly took down the cash register. I kid you not.

No Twilight fan's blood was used during the making of this cupcake.

 My sister and our friend, Paramore, ordered the red velvet cupcake and a slice of cake called, in Wolverine's voice, Bub's. Red velvet cakes get the colour not from having a Twilight fan's blood but by red colouring (DUH). It was bland and dry, kind of like the sponge cake you can get from Baker's Cottage.

Hey bub, I'm Bub. 

The Bub's cake was interesting, it's a 3-tier cake with bananas, layered with peanut butter and topped with cream cheese frosting. For all you bodybuilders, peanut butter is your friend, cream no. This is surely their best cake.  

Marble cake. Sweet but dry.

Cafe latte. I did not get to try this. Pretty pattern, though.

Super Shopper ordered the marble cake and a cafe latte. The cake was colourful and cheery-looking. Too bad it didn't taste as good as it looked. It was too sweet for me and just like the red velvet cupcake, the texture was dry. As for the cafe latte, I didn't taste it but I did admire its pretty design.

WHISK also has macaroons, which they call macarons (related to macaroni?), in a myriad of colours and flavours. It costs RM2 for one that's about the size of a cookie. They better be good. Apart from desserts, they also have pizzas and pastas (if I remember correctly). Pizza looked like it came from a microwave pack, though.

Cartoon caricature adorn the mirrored walls. Cute.

Beatle-esque designs? I reckon so.

Prices are decent, ranged between RM2 to RM15 for most items. Despite its limited seating and narrowness, I wouldn't rule out from patronising there again on a lazy Sunday afternoon with friends. I found it to be a great spot to gossip.

Yes, I said it, even bodybuilders gossip.

Pros:

• I'll say it again, it's a little quaint hole in the wall that's a great spot for people to hang out.
• Good music selection. They played The Beatles which is a damn good thing in my book.

Cons:

• Food was presented nicely but the taste was so-so. 
• Prices are a wee bitty high.

Stay tuned, stay hungry.

WHISK Espresso Bar + Bake Shop
LG 03A Empire Shopping Gallery
(Very near to the Jaya Grocer)

The Bee

Bee's iced water. In a pint. Yay.

Tucked away at a little corner of Jaya One is a rather quaint place called The Bee. This is odd since there are no bees involved as far as I can tell; no caricatures of bees, nobody dressed like a bee, nothing bee-like here, to be honest.

Girls with guitars and silly-sounding voices would fit right in here.

The Bee serves Western food that we all know. Nothing new, right? However, the offerings were somewhat unique, some new and never heard before, others a different take on classics. The prerequisites are available: pastas, burgers, caffeinated beverages, desserts, etc. Imagine a slightly upscale Coffee Bean and you'll get the idea.

Large wooden tables and benches to prop your large butt on.

After perusing the menu for a bit, I settled on their Mexican burger. Prices are typical of eateries these days, shy under RM20 for their priciest burger with the rest of the food ranging from RM10 to RM20 with drinks and desserts generally around the RM10 range. 

Clever usage of every day household items. My mom would say it's a way of pegs, though.

The decor is rather fetching, with a hint of French-influenced chic, kind of what a typical Western cafe looks like. The furniture inside is mostly wooden, nothing fancy but there is an area presumably used for girls with an acoustic guitar and chipmunk voices to perform their "original" (read: zzzZZZ...) material. Overall, it is cosy, welcoming and wonderfully unpretentious coughTheApartmentcough unlike other cafes I've been to. Music selection was of the singer-songwriter-guitar player variety which suited the cafe's ambiance adroitly.

My Mexican burger. I subbed the fries with salad.

I could see from afar my burger's arrival. It looked small. But when I finally looked at it properly, I could see that the meat patty was about an inch thick. Promising stuff. You know when people say Mexican-influence it means throwing in Tabasco sauce? Well, my burger came with beans and mild jalapenos. Nothing new but much appreciated. They make their own patties and it really shows. It was juicy, succulent and had a real bite to it. First ever Bee's burger, certainly not my last.

Churros with ganache.

RM was full from all the Deepavali food so she opted for the banana-and-something pancake. Sadly, we were about 4 hours too late as it's only served during brunch hours. So we chose churros, the Spanish equivalent to the Chinese you tiao. The last time I had churros was in Singapore, they were like flaccid dicks. Bee's were erect, crispy and the inside just tangible enough to not make it like a limp banana. The accompanying ganache was just about right in its sweetness.

Malt-and-peanut butter ice cream. Rock hard texture.

I'm not a big ice cream person but I do like to try me some new flavours so when I saw malt-and-peanut butter I had to give it a go. The best part was its flavour, the peanut butter took center stage with the malt peeking behind. The not so good part was the state it arrived, the ice in ice cream prevalent. Lifting 20kg dumbbbells was easier compared to getting a tiny scoop. Though, it's not made by Bee's, rather, it's from The Last Polka. Maybe they should come up with a more pliable, creamier texture that doesn't end up becoming miniature glaciers. I hope the name doesn't come to haunt them. I don't like polka. 

Service was good. None of the servers were pushy or rude. They looked like very decent people; people with whom you can have a nice cuppa and intelligent conversations. The thing I like a lot about it was that it didn't pretend to be something it's not, as opposed to the nearby Brussels Beer Cafe with its sleazy-looking clientele.

The staff were friendly and looked like nice people to hang with.

I'm glad my first review is that of a good eatery. If you're into burgers you can't do wrong here. Even the pasta dishes looked equally as delectable from what we could see. Make a BEEline to Bee's and you'll not leave unhappy. Oh, yeah, I totally punned that.  

Pros:

• Clean premises.
• Great food and service.
• Just right prices and portions.
• Iced water came in a pint! Awesome. 

Cons:

• The malt-and-peanut butter ice cream was like an ice block. Nice flavours, torture on the arm. 

Stay tuned, stay hungry. 

The Bee 
2A-G, Block K, Jaya One
No.72 Jalan Universiti, Section 13
46200 Petaling Jaya
Selangor Darul Ehsan 

The Muscle Foodie - An Introduction

I like to eat good food. Who doesn't, right?

The thing is, what tastes good for you wouldn't necessarily taste good to me, right? Most likely because your taste in food, well, sucks.

Right?

Like the header says, I am a pretentious, bodybuilder-wannabe dude who likes good and honest food. And like the good and honest food I eat, I will give my darndest best and truthful opinion on it. Unlike other food bloggers who tend to write about how pretty a piece of chicken is or how they have successfully used a fancy photography trick, I will give you more information about the establishment, the service and most especially the food, which I find really lacking. It may not be conclusive but I certainly wouldn't use many exclamations marks just to say how pretty a piece of chicken is.

What I'm trying to say is other food bloggers write shitty reviews, choosing instead to showcase their prowess with a camera. So, people, if you want to know what a real snobby, mofo dude who think he's some big time charlie, you've come to the right place.

Stay tuned, stay hungry.